When my daughter, Eva, was little, she taught me something that has shaped my life more than any professional training or career milestone ever could: the importance of living an integrated life.

Hypocrisy, at its core, is simple. It’s saying one thing and doing another. Most of us don’t set out to be hypocrites. Yet, when our lives get full—when commitments pile up, when work demands more than our bodies and hearts can give, when family is quietly waiting for the version of us that never seems to arrive home—it’s easy to slide out of integrity.

I know this because I’ve lived it. There were seasons when my work shined while my home life frayed. I told myself I was doing it for my family, but in truth, I was out of alignment. That gap between what I said I valued and what my actions showed—that’s hypocrisy. And it erodes trust faster than almost anything else.

So how do we avoid becoming hypocrites? Not by perfection—that’s impossible. But by practicing three things:

1. Honest Self-Assessment

Ask yourself: Am I living in alignment with my values, or am I asking others to hold standards I don’t meet myself? Hypocrisy thrives in denial. Integrity grows in honesty.

2. Boundaries That Honor What Matters Most

Every “yes” to something outside is a “no” to something inside. Learning to set limits—even disappointing others when needed—isn’t selfish. It’s a commitment to living the truth of your priorities.

3. Radical Self-Care

This might sound counterintuitive, but caring for yourself is one of the most honest things you can do. Without rest, nourishment, and grounding, the gap between what you preach and what you practice widens quickly.

Eva reminded me of this through her own quiet consistency. Children have a way of holding up mirrors we can’t ignore. They don’t care about titles, degrees, or paychecks. They care about presence, love, and whether our actions match our promises.

Avoiding hypocrisy isn’t about being flawless. It’s about alignment. It’s about choosing integrity again and again, even when it costs us comfort or applause. It’s about living in a way that, if our children or communities held up our words against our actions, they’d see consistency.

Reflection Prompts

1. Alignment Check

• Where in my life do my words and actions feel most aligned right now?

• Where do I notice gaps between what I say I value and how I actually live?

2. Boundaries and Priorities

• What am I currently saying “yes” to that may be pulling me out of alignment?

• What “no” would help me return to integrity—even if it feels uncomfortable?

3. Impact on Relationships

• How does my alignment (or misalignment) affect the people closest to me?

• If my loved ones were asked, would they say my actions reflect my values?

1. Self-Care as Integrity

• How does my current state of rest, nourishment, and self-care impact my ability to live truthfully?

• What is one small practice I can commit to that keeps me grounded and consistent?

2. Legacy Lens

• What do I want my children, family, or community to remember about the way I lived my values?

• What steps can I take today to move closer to that vision?